Tenney’s Weird Collective Nouns

Since childhood I have loved the concept of collective nouns. In elementary school I was excited whenever my teachers would reveal a new way for me to describe a group of animals, or for that matter people & places. We take for granted a box of crayons or a majority of people, since the terms are heard so often. What interests most people are the collective nouns for animals such as, a murder of crows, a sleuth of bears, a charm of hummingbirds, a shrewdness of apes and a pounce of cats. I am now proposing a new series of collective nouns for the paranormal community. Some of them are silly but I chalk that up to writing the list at 4am.

A descent of Sea Monsters
A toe of Bigfoots or A forest of Sasquatches
A ware of Flying Saucers or A beam of UFOs
A look of Appartitions
A drink of Spirits
A dusting of Orbs
A concentration of Psychics
A heard of EVPs
A shock of EMFs
A crash of Poltergiests
A drama of Paranormal Investigators
and of course…

A fraid of Ghosts

Have anymore? Let me hear them. It can be fun…if you’re a word nerd.

John Lennon Sees a UFO

balcony On August 23rd, 1974 John Lennon was relaxing on the balcony of his apartment in New York city when he witnessed, and later described, a “Flying Saucer” hovering near his building, not a helicopter, and not a balloon.

In the clip provided below you can listen to John explain, in his own words, what he saw.

John Lennon sees a UFO

My favorite part of this recording is when John says:
“I could’ve hit it with a brick if I’d have thrown a stone at it.”

6 things you will most likely not see me do on TV

6 things you will most likely not see me do on TV. (or anywhere else for that matter)

6. I will not wear a baseball hat in a client’s home or during an investigation. Although I am balding, and self-conscious of it, I, personally, do not feel that baseball hats represent a professional attitude while performing an investigation. Additionally, you will never see me wearing a t-shirt with a ghost, skull, bat or gravestone on it. My clothing will reflect the professional nature of my attitude toward investigations. I may dress comfortably but I will not look like I just came from a rock concert.

5. I will not dress up in costumes. I know that some researchers believe “getting into the spirit” of the spirits helps during an investigation but I do not think that way. The chances of seeing me dressed as a civil war solider or a turn-of-the-century barber are the same as seeing me with a sheet over my head…zero.

4. I will not deal in absolutes. Paranormal research is a speculative field. The theories that are in the process of evolving will keep me from saying “This is absolutely a ghost” or “This can only be Demon.” When you start stating that you “know” without a doubt that something has to be a certain way you are setting yourself up to be wrong. Even this list isn’t for certain, but it’s pretty close.

3. I will not yell at ghosts. If ghosts are real they do not exist as we do, meaning, they don’t have physical bodies which have ears that pick up sound vibrations and convert it to electrical impulses which are then interpreted by a brain into sound. If research has shown us anything it is that the non-corporal communicate through vocalisation and auditory abilities are difficult. Screaming and yelling should work just as well as normal voice levels or whispers. Also, even if I postulate that an entity is “mean” or “evil” I have no assurance that my assumption is correct. In our day-to-day lives we often misinterpret “anger” with confusion and “maliciousness” for fear. The last thing I want to do is scream at something/person/spirit which may already be frightened and confused.

2. I will not be afraid that a “ghost” “demon” or any other spirit is going to kill me.
Over the past 20 years I have been placed in some harrowing situations and have always been unharmed. My mental stability and faith in my abilities to deal with unknown situations provides me with a level of comfort wherein I will not be afraid that I will be killed by a paranormal entity.

1. I will not, ever, consume alcohol near, during, around or immediately before or after an investigation. The field of paranormal research is already subject to scorn and ridicule by the “accepted” scientific community. We must perform above and beyond professional standards if we expect to be taken seriously. Anyone who thinks it’s funny or acceptable to drink alcohol while in the midst of an investigation is doing an incredible disservice to hard-working paranormal investigators everywhere who have struggled for decades to make paranormal research a respected field of research.


These opinions are mine and I know everyone has different ideas on how investigations should happen. Hopefully though we can agree that the paranormal community has become overrun by individuals that are more concerned with being rockstars than researchers. Remember, it’s about the data, evidence and helping people to feel more secure in their day-to-day lives.